JOURNAL

Window is a journal Maria Amidu started in January 2015, it is a repository for her random musings on significant and insignificant things

Window Window

swimming (free writing)

(9th March 2017)I remember the day I learnt how to swim so clearly, how not to be afraid of the water engulfing me and taking my life away, I see the wobbly legs of everyone close by and hear the muffled yelps of enjoyment as my feet keep slipping from under me, and then suddenly I am buoyant and overjoyed, minutes of terror transformed into hours of pure joy, my thoughts stop there as I relive this experience, everything in technicolour like all the films we watched on saturday afternoons, the bright blue of the water, the red of my polka dot costume with the white pleated frill, the slime green at the back of the tank that was home to all the frogs moving like the liquidity of the water, (I cannot bear frogs and I am sure it is connected), the curve of the cloudy dome above our heads bending the sun through corrugated ripples, the door open at the top of the stairs allowing the building opposite and the summer grass to peek in

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not the critic

https://soundcloud.com/mariaandco/daring-greatly-1

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dedication

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word collecting

(29th January 2015)today: amend

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hairdo

the Afro is the best hairdo on the planet

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word collecting

today: uprising discombobulation meanwhile fractured nourished

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word collecting

today: clan mainstream confabulation subterfuge

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Lemonade

(28th April 2016) you try to think the best of people but this can be a challenge: bus driver parked badly, I got off the bus, I bashed my head on the wing mirror, it really hurt, I am standing rubbing my bashed head, then I register a horn tooting, I turn thinking it is the driver wanting to apologise, it is the driver, he gestures with contemptuous indignation for me to readjust his wing mirror......I am trying not to take this personally but the way I look and the way he looks this is very difficult, post Lemonade I feel a particularly acute sense of hurt and outrage, I suspect this bus driver read Piers Morgan's article, and not this one: Ijeoma Oluo

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word collecting

today: perish filter rapidly predetermined inscape

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others

(6th November 2015) there are whole other lives going on around us and we barely pay attention

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ties

some blood ties are over-rated

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substitutes

substitutes - who ever feels good about this word...

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plastic cows

(4th June 2015) in all the years I travelled up north and back again I never did see the plastic cows

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word collecting

today: parentheses

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plans

too many critics and/or mimics, sometimes it is helpful to keep your plans to yourself

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decisions

most people encourage you to make decisions based on their own fears, values and insecurities

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Muhammad Ali

a sad, sad day

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seeing

to be unseen is one thing, to be seen then actively ignored is something else entirely

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biggest

what is this obsession with being the most biggest first, what does it all actually mean

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